I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
