I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
