Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
