he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
