Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
