How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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