I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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