Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I could make wine with my vomit
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize