Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize