was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
They took my balls.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
