Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
