so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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