so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
