i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
