Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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