so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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