You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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