i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize