Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
