is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
