just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
