We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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