His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
