Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
