Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
