Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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