my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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