They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
