peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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