based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I will be naked everywhere
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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