There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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