grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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