i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
