But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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