just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
