Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
