oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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