yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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