I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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