Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
