i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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