you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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