we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
