drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We don't watch enough power rangers
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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