I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
