Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
