My pussy is not your playground.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
