how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
