So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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