so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
