i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
