Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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