Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
