Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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