She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
