just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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