No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
