Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
