I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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