Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
