Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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