started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize