someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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