he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
