Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just high enough for therapy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
