Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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