He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We were destined to go to rehab together
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize