What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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