No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
