I just pynch a tree in the face
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
